The Road (Happy Birthday Mo)

Happy Birthday Mo.
 
Miri and I miss you so much. But you know that I’m sure.
 
We’re doing our best to keep moving forward and live the lives you told us you wanted us to.
 
I have to admit, on some days this seems impossible. Some more than others. But then I remember you and the strength  you had to face everything…and I push forward.
 
“One step at a time.”
 
Like you told me to.
 
“Just breathe hon.”
 
Those words ring in my ears all the time…and I really sincerely try to. Sometimes it’s hard to draw in that breath. Almost impossible on some days.
 
Things are changing fast. Miri is growing so quickly it’s scary. And we’re looking at leaving “the nest” and figuring out what our next steps are.
 
It’s scary as hell without you by my side. You know how I get.

I’m still writing like you wanted me to.

It does “get some of it out”. You were right. It wasn’t a dumb idea like I thought it would be. I’ll try to write more. It really does help (so you win the bet on that one…I concede…dammit).

 

The road is curved, and rough, and not lit clearly. It’s ominous and not friendly. There are people and stops on that road that are helping us keep moving along it. They are beacons between the moments of uncertainty. They help us through our biggest moments of uncertainty.

 

We honor you by taking those steps down the road.

We remember you with every single step.

“Just breathe hon.”

I try. I really really do.

We move not away from you, but towards what you wanted for us.

(I know I’ve been lost a bit…I’ve never been good with directions. But Miri is absolutely trailblazing right now. I imagine your proud smile all the time.)

 

I hope so much that we make you proud. We’re doing our best.

I’m trying. I’m doing. I hope you know that (so so much).

 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *